Advanced Search

Silence is Golden


Question:

Some people are quiet by nature and more introverted while others are more rowdy and extroverted. Does Judaism teach that one of these two personalities is better?



AskTheRabbi.org answered:

Not really. People are born with a variety of character traits and dispositions, and are also nurtured in varying ways by their families, friends and environment. But everyone has the freedom to choose between good and bad, between right and wrong. That is what really matters.

Having said that, there’s a time for silence and a time for speech. It all depends on the circumstances.

In the famous text named “Ethics of our Fathers” we are taught the importance of both silence and speech. One teaching states that “silence is a fence for (promotes) wisdom” (3:13). A person who is quiet and attentive to what others say and do will have an opportunity to learn new things. In addition, thoughtful silence will help a person avoid speaking slander and gossip, as well as not saying something he will later regret. As Mark Twain said, “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

On the other hand, speaking is essential for productive communication in our everyday lives. A person who thinks before he speaks will likely speak in an intelligent, productive and “kosher” manner. As we are also taught in Ethics of our Fathers, “One who is very shy will not learn” (2:6). If a person doesn’t understand something, how will he learn and understand it unless he speaks up and asks for clarification?

Therefore, being on the quiet side is definitely a positive trait – especially if it’s your nature – as long as you are not afraid to speak up when necessary. 

Yet the rabbis of Israel, the sages of the Talmud, valued silence as a vital factor in life. Raban Gamliel stated: “All of my life I was privileged to be in the company of the wise men of Torah and I learned from them that nothing is more valuable to productive living than silence.” The Talmud stated that a good word is worth one shekel but that silence itself is worth two shekels. This indicates that a well-timed silence can be more valuable and effective in certain situations. Someone recently told me that his mother jokes that if one word is worth one shekel, then two words should be two shekels. And so on. But I’m sure that you get the point of the wisdom of the teaching of our great Torah sages.


Similar Questions
Philosophy > Character Traits
"Anger and Anti-Semitism"
Conceded Conceit
“Enthusiasm”
Self-Confidence
"Fixing the World"
Anger
Being Judgmental
Becoming a Better Person
A Man or a Mouse?
Two Types of Kindness
An Honorable Mention
A Letter Worth Reading and Re-Reading
Ego-Tripping
To Forgive is Divine
A Favorable Judgment
Materialism
Compassion and Mercy
Dealing with Fear
Anger in the Bosom of Fools
The Value of Knowing Self-Worth
King Solomon’s Special Ring
Appreciation and Applause
The Whole Picture
Wisdom and IQ
Greed
Halacha and Order
Being Orderly
Having What It Takes
Philosophy > Free Will
Jealousy
Courage
"Silver Lining"
Decisions
Persuasion
Enjoyment Without Regret?
Good and Bad
Anger
Pharaoh’s Heart
Destiny
God Help Us
Life's Difficulties
Mystical Experiences
Physical Health
"The Free Will Paradox"
A Balancing Act
Misplaced Spirituality
To Tell the Truth
Charity Begins with Justice
Being Tested
Noah's Ark
Responding to Insults
To Compete or Not?
Why Don’t I See Any Miracles?
Hypocrisy?
Choosing a Rabbi
Was I Really “Born This Way”?
Upgraded Me
Love Your Neighbor
Making the Grade in Life
Judge Me
Jonah and Suicide
Dealing with Failure
Divine Justice
Freedom of Speech
Philosophy > People
Down Syndrome
Modesty
Judging Others
Changing My Appearance
Family Size
Loving Someone You Don’t “Like”
Interrupting
"Silver Lining"
Personal Dignity
Same or Different
Are Men and Women Equals?
Which is the Correct Name
Chauvinist
Judaism & Women’s Spiritual Superiority
Three Divisions
Being Jewish?
Orthodox Jew
Friends
Pursuit of Peace
Soul
A Day to Remember
You Saved It? You Bought It!
Sin to be Tricked?
Feeling Hurt
Bon Voyage
Woman of Valor
Longevity Limits
Nations
The Merchant of Vegas
I-Sight
To Forgive is Divine
Our Code of Honor
Judge Me Not
Responding to Insults
All in the Family
The Healing Visit
Lighting the Way
Slow and Steady Wins the Race
Testing the Waters
Recreation and Concentration
Eat, Drink, Be Merry, Tomorrow We Live
Long Lives
Matrilineal Descent
Of Blessed Memory
Silence
Jewish Education
The Human Soul
Tribes
Racism
Praying for National Unity
Was I Really “Born This Way”?
A Life of Measured Pleasure
Population Explosion
A Light for the Nations
The Baltimore Riots
Science and Judaism
Birthright Forever
The Whole Picture
Jewish Obligation?
Wisdom and IQ
Divine Justice
The “Chosen People”
Science and Judaism
Why Do Good People Suffer?
Mitzvah Parallels
Angels and Afterlife
Noachide Laws
The Kindness of Human Diversity
Have a question?
 
Gateways - Your Key to Jewish Continuity

AskTheRabbi.org is a service of the Gateways Organization © 2024
Technical problems? Please contact the AskTheRabbi Support team