Advanced Search

Interrupting


Question:

Hi. I have a good friend who is really a wonderful person except for one thing that drives me crazy. She interrupts me while I’m speaking. She does it with others also so I know it’s not personal but it really bothers me and I find it frustrating and sometimes even lose my train of thought. Does Judaism address this subject of interruption?



AskTheRabbi.org answered:

Yes. In “Ethics of Our Fathers” we are taught that a wise person does not interrupt a person who is speaking. (Ch. 5)

Does this mean your friend is not wise? Not necessarily. I will try to explain in brief.

Our Sages teach that one who interrupts another is called a “golem”*. The word “golem” literally means an unfinished object, such as a utensil which has been shaped but not polished. The translation for “golem” in association with a person therefore is “unrefined”.

The fact that she interrupts you is not an indication of her level of intelligence. Rather, it reflects on an aspect of her character that could use refining. As you write, she is a good friend and a wonderful person. And very possibly quite smart as well.

As to how to deal with her interruptions? One thing you might consider is to ignore them and be happy you have such a good friend. Having a good friend is a very important thing and often rare to find.

Alternatively, you may choose to speak to her about the interruptions —for both of your sakes. If you do, I am certain you will know how to go about it with tact and love since she is such a dear friend and you don’t want to take any risk of losing her.

*Please note that the use of the word “golem” does not refer to the alleged artificial beings created via Kabbalistic means who were not-fully-functional.


Similar Questions
Relationships > Interpersonal
Violence
Definition of Love
Hosting Relatives
The Candy Truth
Naming Baby
Honor Thy Children?
"Lying"
Forgiveness
Communal Property
Shalom Aleichem
English Name / Hebrew Name
The “Old Man”
Friendship
Long Distance Relationship
Long Time No See!
Pursuit of Peace
Feeling Hurt
Be My Guest
I-Sight
Ego-Tripping
To Forgive is Divine
Our Code of Honor
A Favorable Judgment
Judge Me Not
Friends
Responding to Insults
All in the Family
Tell Me Something New
The Ten Tenets
The Jewish Vote
Winning by a Nose
And Let Us Say “Amen”
Challenge with Observance
Words from the Heart
Staying by Relatives
Speech Therapy
Will They Look Down on Me?
Mercy and “Richer Fruits”
Honor
“Morality and Haughtiness”
Helping a Friend
Upgraded Me
“The Eleventh Commandment”
"To Tell the Truth"
A Family Dilemma
Best Friends Forever
The Whole Picture
Criticism
A Diary Dillema
Happy 120th Birthday!
“Office Politics”
Words and Hurt
Returning Theft “After Death”
Physcial Abuse
Keeping a Kosher Family
Philosophy > People
Down Syndrome
Modesty
Judging Others
Changing My Appearance
Family Size
Loving Someone You Don’t “Like”
"Silver Lining"
Personal Dignity
Same or Different
Are Men and Women Equals?
Which is the Correct Name
Chauvinist
Judaism & Women’s Spiritual Superiority
Three Divisions
Being Jewish?
Orthodox Jew
Friends
Pursuit of Peace
Soul
A Day to Remember
You Saved It? You Bought It!
Sin to be Tricked?
Feeling Hurt
Bon Voyage
Woman of Valor
Longevity Limits
Nations
The Merchant of Vegas
I-Sight
To Forgive is Divine
Our Code of Honor
Judge Me Not
Responding to Insults
All in the Family
The Healing Visit
Lighting the Way
Slow and Steady Wins the Race
Testing the Waters
Recreation and Concentration
Eat, Drink, Be Merry, Tomorrow We Live
Long Lives
Matrilineal Descent
Of Blessed Memory
Silence
Jewish Education
The Human Soul
Tribes
Racism
Praying for National Unity
Was I Really “Born This Way”?
A Life of Measured Pleasure
Population Explosion
A Light for the Nations
The Baltimore Riots
Silence is Golden
Science and Judaism
Birthright Forever
The Whole Picture
Jewish Obligation?
Wisdom and IQ
Divine Justice
The “Chosen People”
Science and Judaism
Why Do Good People Suffer?
Mitzvah Parallels
Angels and Afterlife
Noachide Laws
The Kindness of Human Diversity
Have a question?
 
Gateways - Your Key to Jewish Continuity

AskTheRabbi.org is a service of the Gateways Organization © 2024
Technical problems? Please contact the AskTheRabbi Support team