Hello, my question is about calling one’s father “the Old Man”. It seems to me like a rather disrespectful custom with the youth. I'd like to know, is it against Judaism for a son or daughter to refer to their father (or any older man) as "Old Man” or call him "the Old Man? It sounds very crude and seems to lack courtesy. Or am I just mistaken about this? Your answer would be appreciated.
Judaism teaches us to be very sensitive to the feelings of another person and not cause any mental anguish. Nicknames can be hurtful or they might be flattering. What is important is how they are perceived by the person being called by that nickname, and not what the intent of the caller is.
Calling or referring to one’s father as “the Old Man” certainly sounds derogatory, although the child may not mean any disrespect. I think it depends on the people involved. If the father doesn’t mind or is flattered, it should be permitted. If not, or even if one has a doubt about how he feels being referred to in this way, it is a lack of honor and respect. When in doubt, I suggest asking him politely if he minds and decide based on his answer. And it’s always better to err in these “personal feeling matters” on the side of caution, and be careful not to risk hurting his feelings.
Regarding calling a different person who is elderly “Old Man” or an “Old Man” I would apply the same guidelines. Even a non-parent is a human who should be shown basic human courtesy and respect.
It is interesting to note that in the Torah a “zaken” – an elder – is an expression of great respect and honor, since an older person generally has greater wisdom that comes from learning throughout many years of his lifetime. Nowadays, however, the term “Old Man” has come to be generally used in a negative or non-flattering context and should be avoided.
