Firstly, please allow me to express my sincere condolences - even though it was ten years ago I am sure that the pain of losing your dear daughter is still very much with you.
While I cannot of course judge your actions or feeling, I think that there a couple of points here that seem to be problematic. There is a mitzvah from a Jewish perspective not to say something that is not true. This is not only applicable to the spoken word but it is also applicable to any kind of communication. Applying for a credit card in your late daughter’s name obviously meant filling out forms and declarations that were not true and seem to be a transgression. I would humbly suggest that perhaps there might be other (legal) ways of perpetuating your child’s name that might be a better means of both remembering her and trying to help elevate her soul in the spiritual realms. For example, giving regular donations to a worthy charity, or, if possible, establishing some kind of an endowment in her name.
We are taught in Judaism to grieve for a lost relative or close one, but not to dwell on this grief for an excessive period or in an excessive manner. We should go forward with our lives while remembering those we’ve lost, and try to do positive acts to perpetuate the fact of their existence in this world and in the next. This approach is both fruitful for those who remain behind as well as for the one who has passed on from this world to the next.
May you and your family know only happy occasions from now on.
