Synagogue Symmetry

Why do men and women sit separately in the synagogue? My friends and I have been discussing the reasoning and would appreciate your help in understanding this. Thank you.

Prayer is not a time for socializing with friends. It is a time to pray. “A time to pray … a time to socialize”, to “paraphrase” a well-known verse in Ecclesiastes.

The law requiring a division between men and women in the synagogue dates back to Biblical times and is mentioned in the Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Succah 51b, 52a.

There are a number of reasons given for this:

• To not to cause those who are unmarried to feel “left out” by seeing many others sitting together in family groups.

• We come to synagogue to relate to God as Jews, not as spouses, husbands, wives, fathers or mothers. With a division, spouses do not sit together. That way, we are more of a congregation than groups of individuals.

• To prevent there being an atmosphere of socializing, and conversation during prayer. The atmosphere during prayer should be serious. One way to help achieve the proper atmosphere is by creating a separation between men and women (although this does not guarantee complete concentration on prayer services instead of mundane talk between congregants!).

• To promote human modesty, and to prevent possible distraction to both men’s and women’s prayers due to proximity to the opposite gender.

It is important to note that very many synagogues have a Kiddush after services for all the congregants and it is not unheard of that “kosher” socializing at these events often lead to closer communal ties and even matches “made in Heaven”.