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The Three-Year Haircut


Question:

I was in Israel recently on a tour and saw many toddlers who had long hair and I thought they were girls – but I was told they were boys less than three years old. What is this about?



AskTheRabbi.org answered:

What you saw is a fairly widespread custom but is certainly not a universal practice in Judaism. It is called an “upsherin” (Yiddish) or a “chalake” (Arabic/Modern Hebrew). These are words which mean “cutting off” - referring to the child’s first haircut. Cutting a boy's hair at age three is a wide-spread Jewish custom. Three is also when a boy usually starts wearing a yarmulke and tzitzit, if he doesn't already wear them.

By age three, a child usually understands enough to begin learning about the commandments. The first haircut is a way to train the child in the commandment of “peyot” - the prohibition against too closely cropping the hair near the sideburns.

On a deeper level, this custom is rooted in the commandment of “orlah”. The Torah says if you plant a tree, all fruits that grow during the first three years are “orlah” - off-limits.

The Torah is the Tree of Life. Just as a tree is off-limits in its first three years, so too, the Torah is in a sense “off-limits” to a child until age three, due to the child's limited understanding. At three, when the child's understanding has developed, then his parents can start teaching him the Torah and he can start doing some of its commandments. He finally gets to taste the sweet fruits from the “Tree of Life.”

Some people honor the first haircut with a festive celebration. They express thanks to God for allowing them to teach Torah to their child. Many are accustomed to take their child to a great Torah scholar who cuts the first snip. Not everyone has this custom, however. I found this out when my son was about to turn three, and I approached a renowned Jerusalem rabbi, asking if he would like to take the first snip. "Ani lo sapar" he said - "I'm not a barber."

Some people weigh the cut hair and give that weight in gold or silver to charity, especially a charity which promotes Torah study or helps needy families.

Afterwards, when everyone has had a snip, the child is usually taken to a barber to finish the job properly!


 
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